Filling the Gaps!

Coming back from school one of these days, a friend of mine brought up the topic of how we (foreigners) sometimes get ourselves looking for things to do in our spare time: hobbies, courses, books, etc. Nothing wrong with that, but if we think for a second we’ll realize that this never happened before we came here – life in our hometowns was lived day by day, and things “just happened” there - it was intense. Now why do we behave like that here? Why do we feel loneliness to a point that we have to make an effort to keep ourselves occupied somehow? I’ve been thinking about that, and the reason may lie on the culture in which we created for ourselves here. We created a culture that praises 2 things:
- Auto Sufficiency. People here are smart, bright people, independent, and as such are never supposed to “seek for help”. No, you never seek for help – you don’t need to, you’re smart enough to figure things out on your own. Why call a friend for assistance? What will your friend think of you? You just don’t do it. You “do it yourself!”
- Winners. The society we live in praises winners, not losers. The consequence of this is the following:
o Hide your problems. You are not supposed to express your problems to your friends. No, you hang out with your friends so that you can share your victories, your accomplishments, all the good things that you’re earning in life due solely to your fantastic competency. About your problems, well, you can take care of them by yourself, can’t you? And do not disclosure them!
o Competition. In a society where winners are the only ones that survive, anyone is your competitor. Including…your friends!! And when you start seeing your friends as competitors, an interesting thing happens: they’re no longer your friends – they are downgraded to your colleagues. Why hang out with someone who may be a “threat” for you? Why share your secrets? No, not at all! At most you have a couple of coffee here and there with them, and that’s it!
It is sad. But don’t get me wrong, I myself sometimes act like that, even being conscious of this situation. Also, keep in mind that different places have different cultures, and each culture has its own pros and cons – there is no such “perfect” culture. But, what we all need to do is to be conscious of this and realize that time is flying much faster than we imagine, and that the most important things you build in life is not your career, or your house, or your Resume. The most important things you build in life are your family and your friends. Eventually you’ll realize that, and hopefully won’t be too late.